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I'm all alone. My heart has grown, but it's broken too! [entries|friends|calendar]
broadwaybabe216

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i dont know how to describe this feeling....... [26 Oct 2004|07:13pm]
[ mood | numb ]

~ive got a long ways to go yet..........but im getting there......slowly and surely........im getting there.......i promise.......

~today was my first step, and it was a big one.........im glad i didnt trip......





*~Ashley~*

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random........but i was bored [24 Oct 2004|06:07pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

~well......i was bored and not in a really great mood and i thought you all might want something to read.....lol........so here ya go.......have fun.......

1) name: Ashley
2) spell your name backwards: yelhsa
3) date of birth: February 16, 1988
4) male or female: female
5) astrological sign: aqaurius
6) nicknames: ash, dear and love (those are from lauren =) ).....not too many others
7) occupation: taco bell employee
8) height: 5’4”
9) hair color: dark brown
10) eye color: blue
11) where were you born: Erie
12) where do you reside now: Erie
13) age: 16
14) screen name: willowsrider88
15) email: dont have one of my own......the family’s is dfaipler@earthlink.net
16) what does your screen name stand for: the barn where i ride horses and my birthday year
17) what is your xanga name: well, my ljs are broadwaybabe216 and gr8_pretender
18) what does your diary name stand for: the first one is for my love of theatre and my birthday......the second is what i feel describes me....(lyrics from FAME)
19) pets: 1 dog, Mojo, and 1 fish, Gypsy
20) number of candles you blew out on your birthday last year: 16
21) Piercings: one in each ear
22) tattoos: none…yet
23) shoe size: 8 or 9
24) righty or lefty: righty
25) wearing: pink pajama pants, blue cami, and a grey sweater
26) hearing: “Tackle that Temptation” from “Nunsense”
27) feeling: crappy
28) eating/drinking: nothing
~friends stuff~
which one of your friends is the
29) craziest: jj
30) loudest: maria
31) nicest: all of them
32) bitchiest: .........ill save u all the trouble of guessing........its me!
33) life of the party: … ummm….
34) jock: ......not sure
35) prep: umm…once again......not sure
36) rebel: meg!!!!!
37) cutest: lauren! (a.k.a. the love of my life)
38) best friend of the same sex: casey
39) best friend of the opposite sex: vaughn or pat
40) most popular: not sure.....
41) rudest: ......if i put their name in here, they would be mad
42) most shy: jim
43) dumbest: tracey
44) smartest: sara
45) weirdest: jake
46) has the best hair: steph
47) best personality: hmmm.......id say lauren.......but all of u do really.....
48) most talented: casey
49) most ghetto: MIA!!!!!!!!!
50) most spoiled: tracey
51) drama queen: maria or myself
52) pain in the ass: me, LAUREN!!!! (u know i love u though), tracey, jj,
53) best advice giver: pat
54) druggie: no one that i know of.....
55) most likely to join a cult: meg
56) have you lost communication with a friend recently: yes
57) person you've been friends with for the longest: sara
58) how many friends do you have on your buddy list: 198
59) do you talk to everyone on your buddy list: no!!!!
60) have you ever been in love: yes
61) how many people have you told i love you: 4 (not counting casey or my family......which are basically the same thing.....lol)
62) how many people have you been in love with: really only 2
63) how many people have you kissed: 6
64) have you ever had sex: yes
65) how many people have you dated: 5
66) what do you look for in a guy/girl: someone who loves me for me and can understand me and be able to be there for me and help......
67) whats the first thing you notice about the opposite sex: smile and eyes
68) what type of guy/girl do you usually go for: each guy has been different........so i cant really say
69) do you have a bf/gf: nope
70) if so where did you meet them: .........
71) what do you like most about your bf/gf: ..........
72) do you have a crush right now: yes
73) if so who is it: .....im sure u all already know.....
74) do you believe in love at first sight: yes
75) who is the first person you kissed: connor
76) do you believe in fate: yes
77) do you believe in soul mates: yes
78) if so do you believe that you'll ever find yours: not yet
~family stuff~
79) how many siblings do you have: 1
80) what are your parents names: Randy and Denise
81) what are your siblings names: Jason
82) how many siblings does your mother have: 6
83) how many siblings does your father have: 3
84) where are your parents from: both from Erie
85) is your family close: not really.......
86) does your family get together for the holidays: yes
87) do you have a drunk uncle: no
88) any medical problems run through your family: heart diseases, cancer, caustro-chondritis (yes....i got that already.....lol)
89) do you have any nieces or nephews: no
90) are your parents divorced: no
91) do you have step parents: no
92) has your family ever disowned another member of the family: no
93) if so for what: ........n/a
94) did some of your family come to america from another country: germany, france, ireland,
~music stuff~
95) what song do you swear was written about your life: “I’m Not That Girl” from “Wicked”
96) whats the most embarassing cd you own: i agree with meg.....Britney Spears!
97) whats the best cd you own: any of my showtunes.......i love them all.....but right now its either “Wicked” or “Tick...Tick...Boom!”
98) what song do you absolutely hate: ummm........i dont really hate any now
99) do you sing in the shower: yes
100) what song reminds you of that special someone: “She Will Be Loved” by Maroon 5
~favorites~
101) color: pink
102) food: chicken
103) song: “She Will Be Loved” or “For Good” from “Wicked”
104) show: 7th Heaven (yes i know im dumb....)
105) school subject: english
106) band/singer: Ashlee Simpson
107) animal: horse
108) outfit: jeans and a shirt or a dress
109) radio station: star 104
110) movie: the notebook, dirty dancing, evita,
111) pair of shoes: my clogs
112) cartoon: scooby doo
113) actor: Denzel Washington
114) actress: Julia Roberts
115) potato chip: bbq
116) drink: mountain dew
117) alcholic drink: ummmm......not really sure if i have a favorite......
118) holiday: christmas
119) perfume/cologne: tommy girl or cool water
120) pizza topping: cheese
121) jello flavor: strawberry
122) lunch meat: ham or turkey
123) board game: life
124) video game: SUPER MARIO!!!!!
125) kind of ice cream: cookie dough
126) book: i know why the caged bird sings
127) computer game: sims
128) number: 16
129) cereal: captain crunch
130) comedian: jeff foxworthy
131) dessert: apple pie
132) disney character: meg (from Hercules)
133) clothing store: khols
134) pastime: performing
135) favorite teacher: mr. martone
136) childhood toy: doll
137) carnival game/ride: i dont have one
138) candy bar: hersey’s
140) salad dressing: dont eat salad....
141) favorite thing to do on the weekend: sleep or hang out with friends
142) hot drink: hot chocolate
143) season: fall
144) sport to watch: basketball and hockey
145) person to talk to online: i dont have a favorite.....I LOVE U ALL!
~this or that~
171) Coke/Pepsi: coke
172) doughnuts/bagels: bagels
173) day/night: night
174) wicked witch of the east/west: i like them both!!! i cant pick!!! too hard!!!
175) heaven/hell: heaven
176) coffee/tea: tea
177) hamburgers/hotdog: hamburgers
178) rock/rap: rock
179) Britney/Christina: neither
180) swiss cheese/american cheese: american
181) Real World/Road Rules: real world
182) Backstreet Boys/NSYNC: NSYNC
183) silver/gold: silver
184) Nike/Adidas: adidas
185) McDonalds/Taco Bell: taco bell
186) sweet/sour: sweet
187) punk/emo: punk
188) hot/cold: hot
189) winter/summer: summer
190) spring/fall: fall
191) operas/plays: both......
192) read/watch tv: watch tv
193) cds/tapes: cd’s
194) dvds/vhs: good old vhs
195) old/new: old
196) shorts/skirts: skirts
197) pink/red: pink
198) color/black and white: color
199) meat/vegetables: meat
200) mexican food/chinese food: mexican
201) commercials/infomercials: commercials
202) scary movies/comedies: scary movies
203) bikinis/one piece: bikini
204) sandals/tennis shoes: sandals
205) dogs/cats: dogs
206) unicorns/fairies: unicorns
207) water/land: land
208) sugar/spice: spice
209) black/white: black
210) ribbons/bows: ribbons
211) chicken/beef: chicken
212) colored/white christmas lights: colored
213) cars/trucks: cars
214) Austin powers/James Bond: James Bond
215) popcorn/pretzels: pretzels
216) hip/hop: hip
217) passionate kiss/peck: passionate kiss
218) WWE wrestling/real wrestling: real
219) back rub/foot masage: back rub
220) picture frames/photo albums: photo albums
221) pens/pencils: pens
~what is your opinion of the following~
222) Eminem: getting annoying for me
223) virgins: if you are - fine........if not - also fine........i dont have an opinion
224) God: is there someplace
225) The Osbournes: ........umm no comment
226) reality tv: gets old real fast
227) J Lo: does have a rather large ass......
228) religion: is something your parents push on you until you can make the choice for yourself…(YES MEG!!!!!)
229) emo music: odd.......
230) Valentines day: sucks most of the time
231) Christina Aguliera's comeback: funny......
232) homosexuals: no problem for me......
233) abortion: is wrong!
234) inter-racial relationships: WHY DO PEOPLE MAKE SUCH BIG DEALS ABOUT THIS?!?!?!!?
235) murder: is everywhere
236) death: is scary
237) pre-marital sex: is okay if you can handle all that comes with it
238) terrorism: is scary and wrong......
239) fortune tellers: are funny
240) threesomes: no opinion
241) prostitution: why not?!?.......lauren and i are gonna be prostitutes....right?!?!? lol
242) politics: overrated.....
243) country music: some is good.......some isnt
244) George W. Bush: should prolly quit that life thing.......
245) cloning: cool......i guess.....?!?!?
246) Britney's boobs: fake......
247) gas prices in America: too high!!!!
~name game~
what do you think of when you hear these common names
248) Jack: jill
249) Tiffany: breakfast at tiffany’s
250) Ben: and j.lo
251) Maria: nasca
252) Jennifer: my cousin
253) Nicole: hofmann
254) Amy: brown
255) Adam: ASS.......i love him
256) Richard: ......my old neighbor
257) Justin: timberlake
258) Arnold: ME!!!! sister mary arnold
259) Tom: saras b/f
260) Melissa: carleton
261) Charlotte: 's web
262) Harold: from hey arnold
263) John: madden
264) Joel: my friend nathan’s older brother
265) Vanessa: my cousin’s g/f
266) Michelle: branch
267) Kevin: hirst
268) Brent: brandons brother
269) Jake: Fournier
270) Billy: .......dont know
271) Natalie: loud, annoying girl i went to grade school with....
272) Christy: at first glance i thought it said chrissy......so thats what i thought of.....and she should prolly just die
273) Nick: lache
274) Linda: my aunt in colorado
275) Taylor: baker
276) Jordan: .......
277) Jamie: from the show ‘the last 5 years’
278) adrian: swonder
~have you ever~
279) mooned anyone: no
280) been to a foreign country: no
281) been on a diet: yes
282) broken a bone: no
283) swallowed a tooth/cap/filling: yes when i was little......i cried a lot....lol
284) swear at a teacher: yes
285) talked to a xanga member via email: no
286) got in a fight: yes
287) dated a teacher: no
288) laughed so hard you peed your pants: yes
289) thought about killing your enemy: yes
290) gone skinny dipping: yes
291) met another xanga member in the flesh: no
292) told a little white lie: oh yes
293) told a secret you swore not to tell: yes…..and i know how much it can hurt both the other person and myself.........it sucks
295) misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid: prolly....
296) been on tv: yes
297) been on the radio: yes
298) been in a mosh pit: no
299) been to a concert: yes
300) dated one of your best friends: yes
301) loved someone so much it made you cry: yes
302) deceived someone close to you: yes
303) broken the law: yes
304) been to a rodeo: yes
305) been on a talk show: no
306) been on a game show: no
307) been on a airplane: yes
308) got to ride on a fire truck: yes
309) came close to dying: yes
311) gave someone a piggy back ride: yes
312) terrorized a babysitter: yes
313) made a mud pie: no.....(and mr dulin told me a had a deprived childhood for never making one)
314) had a dream that you're falling off a cliff: yes
315) snuck out of the house at night: yes
316) been so drunk you dont remember your name: yes
317) had an eating disorder: no
318) felt like you didnt belong: all the time
319) felt like the third wheel: yes
320) smoked: yes
321) done drugs: no
322) stolen money from a poor person on the street: no
323) had your tonsils removed: no
324) gone to camp: yes
325) won a bet: yes
326) written a love letter: yes
327) gone out of your way to be with the one you love: yes
328) written a love poem: yes
329) kissed in the rain: yes
330) slow danced with someone you loved: not with someone i loved....
333) stolen a kiss: yes
334) asked a friend for relationship advice: oh yes.......
335) had a friend steal a bf/gf: not a b/f....but someone i really loved
336) watched the sunset/rise with someone you love: yes
337) gotten a speeding ticket: no
338) done jail time: no
339) had to wear a uniform to work: yes
340) won a trophy: yeah
341) thrown up in public: no
342) bowled a perfect game: no
343) failed/got held back: no
344) roasted pumpkin seeds: no
345) taken ballet lessons: yes
~childhood stuff~
346) did you play with Barbies: yes
347) did you own treasure trolls: yes
348) did you watch Beverly Hills 90210: no
349) did you play simon: yes
350) did you watch Fraggle Rock: no
351) did you wet the bed: not that i can remember....
352) did you believe that there were monsters under your bed or in your closet: OMG yes.........i was petrified of them........lol
353) did you wear underwear with the days of the week on them: no
354) were you shy: yes......very
355) were you spoiled: no
356) did you go to the circus: once......but i was afraid of clowns, so never again.......
357) did you go to the zoo: yes.......all the time
358) were you in a car accident: yes
359) did you build snowmen: yes
360) did you cry when you scraped your knee: yes
361) were your older cousins mean to you: no
362) did you think slinkies were cool: yes
363) did you think the ninja turtles really lived in the sewer: yes
364) were you afraid of the dark: yes
365) did you have slumber parties: yes
366) did you have New Kids on the Block stuff: no
367) did you tease your hair out like Tiffany: no (thank god)
368) did you believe in santa claus/the easter bunny/tooth fairy: yes/yes/ yes
~randomness~
369) do you believe in aliens: no
370) name 3 things that are next to your computer: cd tower, printer, modem
371) do you have any hidden talents: not that i know of
372) do you wish MTV would play music videos: yes
373) if you were to star in a movie what kind of movie would it be: drama
374) what would your movie star name be: id keep my name......i kinda like it
375) do you play any sports: i horseback ride.......(and YES that is a sport)
376) what's the scariest movie you've ever seen: the exorcist.........i laughed at all the rest........i found them funny
377) whats the best movie you've seen recently: the notebook
378) whats the dumbest movie you've ever seen: i dont know
379) do you drive: permit
380) what is your dream car: red ford focus....
381) do others think you are good looking: i doubt it......
382) would you ever sky dive: yes
383) do you believe in big foot: no
384) how many rooms do you have in your house:14
385) are you afraid of rollercoasters: no
386) do you believe in God: yes
387) do you believe in satan: no
388) do you believe there is a heaven: yes
389) do you believe there is a hell: yes
392) do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen: yes
393) do you like chocolate: yes
394) who/what is on your 2004 calendar: one with horses.....and one with puppies
395) how many US states have you been to: 32
396) ever wished on a shooting star: yes
397) Best Halloween costume you ever wore: i dont know
398) do you carry any weapons on you: well.....only a lighter and a safety pin.....(i know what ur thinking.... “a safety pin?!?”......but u’d be surprised at what it can do....)
399) what is your weakness: im afraid of being alone and not being loved
400) name something you cant get enough of: theatre
402) how many kids do you want to have: 3
403) future daughter names: Jo, Bernadette, Marie
404) future son names: Christian, Ryan
405) what is your ideal way to die: quickly
406) how do you release stress: crying.....and other ways......
407) are you a trendy person: no
408) are you an artistic person: kinda
409) are you a realistic person: for the most part
410) do you untie your shoes every time you take them off: no
411) are you a strong person: emotionally - no......physically - yes......
412) are you a strong-willed person: yes
413) who was the last person to email you: kylie
414) who was the last person to IM you: steph
415) do you hate chain emails: yes
416) are you a deep sleeper: no......i dont sleep well at all
417) are you a good storyteller: ehh.......sometimes
418) what do you believe is your best quality: im a good advice giver......(or at least i think so......and have been told so)
419) what is your greatest accomplishment: just being on stage at MPS.....i would have to say “nunsense” is prolly my greatest accomplishment since its a cast of only 12 girls.........
420) do you like to burn candles or incense: both
421) do you do yoga: no
422) do you have your own credit card: no
423) lets say you win the lotto. what do you do with the money: invest it
424) do you have a checkbook: no
425) do you like your drivers license picture: i dont have a license yet
426) do you tan easily: kinda
427) what color is your hair naturally: dark brown/almost black
428) how many cavities did you have at your last dentist appointment: a couple.....3 maybe.....i have horrible teeth
429) worst feeling in the world: being used
430) best feeling in the world: finding the one person who loves you for you and will not hurt you and use you.......
431) is the glass half empty or half full: half empty
432) do you catch yourself using online terms in real life: sometimes....lol
433) what do you think people think of you: i dont think many like me.......but thats my guess.....you would have to ask all of them what they thought of me
434) are you a likeable person: i prefer to think so
435) do you need therapy: yes
436) do you take medication for a chemical imbalance: no
437) whats the best way to be proposed to: alone, on a romantic date, maybe under the stars.....
438) what kind of movie would you star in: a musical
439) if fed ex and UPS merged, would it be called fed up: yes
440) when are you moving: when i go to college......
441) whats your favorite phrase: i dont have one........



~well......off to confirmation class now......ill talk to u all later......lyl




*~Ashley~*

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nothing new.... [17 Oct 2004|10:36pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

~not too much to say anymore........im working on making my new journal.....so if u have one of ur own, and ur my friend......let me know and ill give u the username.......(its going to be friends only.....so yeah....)........

~well, i have been starting to feel a lot better lately, except for one thing.......and im sure most of u can guess what that is.........but i just dont know what to do anymore.......ive tried and tried...........its just no use anymore.......its really starting to hurt to just sit here and watch him fall deeper and deeper in love with someone else..........its almost like the more and more i help him, the more and more i fall back in love with him.......and i know i shouldnt.......

~well.....school tomorrow so im gonna go to bed....im tired now......




*~Ashley~*






"We should be lovers."
"We can't do that."
"We should be lovers, and that's a fact."
"Though nothing will keep us together. We can still try, just for one night."

3 comments|post comment

3:00 does NOT = 3:15!!!!!!!!! [12 Oct 2004|10:46pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

~well.......i can honestly say that i am so unbelievably pissed off right about now........ok dont u think that being the treasurer of ITS, it would kinda be important for me to be at the meeting and be there to run the stuff about dues and everything?!?!?!?!?!?...........yeah u would think........but obviously its not important to the other officers........i mean come on.........why would i be?!?!?!?!?.......im only an officer right?!?!?!?!............ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i said to 3 out of the other 4 officers that i wouldnt be there until 3:15 and well (stupid me for figuring that since the meeting was scheduled to start AT, NOT BEFORE 3:15 ) that i would be there......and i would be able to talk about dues then.........well i love how i walked in the audi at exactly 3:15 and.....hmm......the meeting had already been done for a couple of minutes...........wow.......pretty cute?!?!?!?!.........NOT!!!!!!!!!!! cuz then something is said to me for not being there......well excuse me, i am NOT going to get in trouble for something that isnt my fault at all........the meeting is not scheduled to start at 3:05 or 3:10, but rather 3:15............so in turn i do not see any fault of my own in this...............and also i hear that the meeting was very poorly organized.....actually that it was more disorgaized than ever.......so maybe it had something to do with me not being there.........(who knows......).......i do know though, that there are some other officers that like to hear themselves talk, and they talk about other peoples topics at meetings.......and they make decisions on their own without talking to the other officers.......and ellen and i have expressed the same observations........and we are both noticing how we are being left out of very important decisions.......and it will not be keeping up for much longer..........we will be speaking to G about it.............cuz it is a little ridiculous.........

~anyways.......so after all of that venting......i am still extremely mad.........but at least i finished my VIC and my chem lab..........im surprised i finished........but i dont know.......nothing else really interesting here........i dont know maria......some days are up and some are way back down where they started.....im getting there though........eventually.......

~and pat.......dont forget about those mountains that me and u are climbing together........i promise that both of us are gonna make it to the top of our mountain sooner or later.......(i think both of us are hoping for that sooner option rather than later..... :-) )........and i dont know..........brighter days are coming for both of us......that i do know!........smile!.......and remember im always here to listen and give advice......(and i like certain other people......will not tell u its useless or not worth trying......cuz it always is worth a shot......no matter what the situation!!!)......and look at it this way.......u know that she is just jealous!!!......and i and quite a few others can vouch for that one!!!!........but always remember to keep climbing and know that i love u and were gonna get through it all..........xoxoxoxo

~well.....im quite tired now......and i have to go to school early tomorrow......to finish up some last minute homework........so ill write back and let u know about tomorrow's events.............lyl



*~Ashley~*





~oh yeah......and did u notice that for the first time the music i was listening to wasnt from a show......how weird is that.....?!?!?!?!........well its cuz i am listening to the cd that lauren the love of my life made me........:-)

~oh yes.....and casey - I LOVE THE SONG U MADE UP ABOUT LT2.......lol........its amazing!!!!!!!!!! i think we should put it on a cd and sell it to people.....they would love it.........









Cuz it's all in my head.
I think about it over and over again.
And it hurts so bad.
Cuz it's all in my head.
I think about it over and over again.
And I can't take it.
And I can't shake it.


It's over.........

4 comments|post comment

my weekend...... [11 Oct 2004|10:57am]
[ mood | envious ]

~well.....i havent had a lot of time to write in here lately.........but i have lots to write about........i really have no idea where to start...........i bet the beginning would be the perfect place.......so here goes:

~friday was laker day......and that was a lot of fun.......we came in second though......but thats ok.....thats to be expected.......anyways.....then friday night me, maria, jaki, and lauren went to the football game......we met up with everyone else there........it was fun.....and then after the game me, pat, maria, lauren, and jaki went to taco bell.......then pat was nice enough to take all of us home........awe........lol......anyways.......(so lauren why were u proud of me and impressed?!?!?!!? lol........yeah it is kind of an accomplishment.......if u look at it that way......lmao.......i mean....yeah.....it was tough, but no objections.........lmao!!!!!!)

~saturday........hmmm.....i slept til like 12 and then got up and showered so that my aunt could do my hair.....i guess it looked cute.....i dont know......i wanted something else......but i just didnt know what.....but thats ok.......and then later on i got ready and casey and jarod came over for pictures......(i loved my dress so much.......!!!!!) anyways........then after pictures we went to The Station for dinner......it was nice.......we had fun.......then afterwards we drove around for a little bit cuz we were early for the dance yet......and then we finally went to the dance.........i have to say the dance went about exactly how i had expected it to go......not so great........but whatever.....i mean who cares right?!?!? wrong.......i care.......but that doesnt matter........as long as all of my friends had a good time it doesnt matter what my time was like.....right?!?!? yeah...........but at any rate......the gym looked nice......the decorations were a lot better than last years........

~after the dance.....we went to joes.....that was fun........casey, jarod, and i only stayed til 2......then jarod took us home to caseys.......i spent the night there........fun i guess......if u call sitting around watching moulin rouge while ur best friend is on the phone with her b/f (who she was just with for like 7 hours)......then stays on the phone with for another couple of hours......well yeah u could classify that as fun if u wanted to.......but thats ok.......

~the next morning lauren and pat picked me up at like 10.....and pat took each of us home......thanks.....i got to hear stories about the night before.......and how interesting it must have been......i wish i would have stayed........and i really wanted to play capture........but i didnt.......oh well.....next time i will.......lol.....

~it looks like im gonna have a busy week this week......ITS meeting tomorrow......rehearsals in class and then after school on thursday.....then fools opens this weekend.....so i want to try and get to at least one or two performances.......and the PSATs are on saturday (but im not sweating those too much cuz i took them last year.....).....and i havent gotten my work schedule yet.....it should be interesting cuz i already know im gonna have to call off a couple of days......and they r gonna be mad at me..........oh well......i guess that happens when ur life has some things going for u and ur not just basing ur life around working at a taco bell.........w/e........

~and maria......i didnt forget u.......i was just thinking of what i could say to u......i also wanted to say this all to u in person.......but i needed to write it down, and i will talk to u in person as well........but anyways......i dont know if u know how much that phone call meant to me.......seriously......i was really down, and u knew.......i tried to hide it, but i guess im no good at that anymore.....people always know.....u realized i was starting to go back downhill......and u tried ur hardest to pull me back up.......and like u said, maybe i did start with too much......maybe i started where i wasnt ready or comfortable.....and i took more than i could handle........but u showed me that i have come a long way......i didnt want to believe it.....but u proved me wrong........i look back at what i was a few weeks ago.....let alone a few months ago........and yeah.....ive come a long way.........im slowly turning my life around......im getting back on the right track.......i just needed a few people to push me in that direction......ur one of those people.......and i thank u so much........and i know when u called u didnt mean to make me cry.......but i had already been crying before u called........so its all ok.......but thank u and i love u so much........xoxoxoxoxoxo

~so nothing really in store for today.......i have to work on my VIC........and since i havent started that yet.....i have a long way to go.......but thats ok......it will give me something to do today.......so....back to school tomorrow.........ughh.......i really dont wanna go back......thats ok though......ill write back later.....




*~Ashley~*






When I'm angry, you listen.
Make me happy it's your mission.
And you won't stop til I'm there.

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homecoming...... [07 Oct 2004|02:59pm]
[ mood | pensive ]

~wow......i havent written in here in a really long time........i have been so busy lately.....between work, tanning, getting things ready for laker day and homecoming.......its been hectic.........i got my nails done.......(they look really nice....)....and im finally tan!!!!!!! yay........(well not compared to casey, but to lauren im dark....) lmao.......but my stomach is really burnt still.....and im pealing all over the place.......its ok ill be tan for homecoming........

~well.......yes im actually gonna go to homecoming..............even without a date.......thats ok.......i had a date, but then AFTER we had plans all set and everything he decided to tell me that his parents were being dumb about him going and werent gonna let him go.......and also he has to babysit his sister saturday night.......i was like WOW....whatever.......so im kinda mad and upset......but ill get over it......

~afterwards im gonna go with jarod and casey to joe's for a little bit......but were not allowed to spend the night cuz our parents are dumb......and so im just gonna go spend the night at casey's then.........we'll have fun......we always do......lol

~thanks for trying stephanie!!!.....and mike too!!......i love u both and i know u tried.....but stuff usually never works out for me......so who knows.......have fun together.......

~so........im gonna go now......tanning....



*~Ashley~*

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working at the carwash.... [25 Sep 2004|11:07pm]
[ mood | tired ]

~hey everyone........today was a good day.......we had the ITS carwash.........it was a lot of fun......and it went really well too........we made $469 (not counting all the change....)......so i would say we did really good.......

~casey spent the night last night......it was so funny she just came to taco bell.....and just sorta chilled there until i was done......lol......wow.....i love u.......and then "when we do our kick line.....i dunno.....she looks like she is kicking smurfs!" lol........that was definitely the funniest thing ever......thats amazing.......wow.....were so random sometimes........but i love it......and u!!!!!.......going to subway for lunch....."try to be back in a half an hour u guys"........well considering we were gonna be there the whole day.....i think we can take a break......lol......oh yeah and "oh wait ur the vice president right?!?! not the treasurer.....that means u deal with what.....?!?! people not money......oh yeah thats right NOT MONEY!!!!!" lol......wow i was seriously ready to kick some midget butt.....lol casey that was amazing.......i love us.......were so great........oh yeah and all ihave to say to u is......UMMMMM BATHING SUIT TOP!!!!!!!........yeah so thats about it.........and i approve of jared.....and mark.....either one would be fine........but thats ur call......lol

~today was a much better day.....no more sad days.......(at least for a while i hope.....).......

~well off to bed......ill talk to everyone later.......i work tomorrow 11-5 if anyone wants to visit........and then i have confirmation class in the evening.........ughh.........i dont wanna go.....i dont wanna make my confirmation at st. lukes......i hate that church........but my mom wont let me make it at st. georges......im kinda mad about that......oh well.........





*~Ashley~*

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"Who can say if I've been changed for the better?" [22 Sep 2004|08:14pm]
[ mood | grateful ]

~wow.....two entries in about two hours....lol.......well ive got lots to say........this may become long, confusing, boring, sad, and a whole lot of other things........so i apologize a head of time.......but i need to say this.....cuz i know these people are gonna read this.......and i dont know if i can tell them this to their faces..........

~well first of i need to say a lot about a person that has helped me so much........i dont know if he knows it or not (but if i had to bet money on it, i would say he does)........but he has seriously helped me in trying to turn my life around (or at least start to).........he has been somewhat in my shoes and even though he may still be a little uncomfortable with these kind of situations, he is there to help me......he has been willing to do absolutely anything to help me realize that yes my life does have meaning.....no matter how much i would like to disagree with him.......he finds ways to prove me wrong........and i love him for that.......he has been such an amazing friend in the short time of less than a year that i have known him........and he definitely knows who he is........and i hope he knows how much i need him in my life...........i couldnt get through without him......he has opened my eyes to so many things.......he showed me that yes, life is worth it no matter who u are.........he helped me to see that there is a door that i need to go through, and that i am the only one who can open that door...........and i am working and trying to get to that door..........i will eventually.....im just scared to open it.............but i wanna thank u for everything........and i promise im gonna work to get through this...........it will be tough.....but if ur willing to help (and i know i need to help myself first), i think i can do it........

~next......Lauren and Maria.......u guys know how much i need u......and how i never would have made it through last year and this summer without u........u make me smile everyday......and that helps....every little thing helps.....whether it be something stupid, or something really insightful that makes me think......i love it........thanks so much.........and ill try to color more pictures next time.......and if i need to - make emergency phone calls.......lol........there are so many things that i wish i could say.....but i dont think i can......and i dont think i have to say them.......good friends know what u wanna say while ur sitting there crying......and they tell u "its ok....u dont have to say it.....i know".......u guys are those people.......u always seem to know......even if i try to hide it.......u know.............u always know.......but i love u for that.......it helps so much......that way i dont have to make myself bring it up.......u can tell there is something that needs to be said.........and u are more than willing to help everytime..........and if u cant help, u find someone who can..........i dont know how i would get through each day without u two........i need u so much.....and u guys know that.....i love u.......

~and now Casey.......i love u so much......seriously i would not trade u for anyone in the whole freaking wide world as my best friend......u know so much about me and what im gonna say when........and u do anything in ur power to help me......u know when somethings wrong, even when i dont wanna say it or show it..........i know ur always here for me no matter what happens........and u seriously have walked me every step of the way through all of this.....and i couldnt ask for anyone better than u to do that............u understand everything i say even when it makes no sense whatsoever.........u always know what i want to say, even if i dont know how to say it........in the little bit longer than a year that we have known each other, u have gotten to know so much about me that i didnt even know about myself until i met u.........u have seriously changed me so much, (and yes it was for the better.....).......and as much as i wish i could have told u about everything going on in the past few weeks, i couldnt cuz i knew there was so much going on in ur life, that i didnt wanna draw the attention to myself.....i wanted to focuss on trying to help u with everything before helping myself......cuz seriously the happiness of my best friend is worth so much more to me than my own happiness.......and i was quite afraid that u would be upset with me had i told u what was going on.......(and yes i know how dumb that sounds, but i didnt want to worry u, or cause u more stress than u are already under....)........plus i didnt know how to tell u......it was so hard the last time......and i promised to u and myself (and multiple other people) that i wouldnt have to explain that anymore......and i feel so terrible cuz i broke so many promises.........but i really hope u know how much i love u........and i would hate to do anything that would cause u pain......so u should be the first to know that i will not do anything anymore.....(and yes i know i have said that before, but i really really really mean it this time).......i realize that there are so many people in my life that i love and that love me, and i wouldnt want to be causing them unescessary pain........especially u......cuz i know that both of us have been through too much shit to have to go through this again......and i never want either of us to have to deal with it again..........so i truly and sincerely mean it this time...........but i needed to get all of this out.......and tell u exactly how i feel.....(even though i am sure u already knew most of this stuff).......i love u with all my heart and there is nobody in the entire world that i love more and care for more........or that i trust and believe in more than u...........and u know that........i love u......angels forever......and also always wear waterproof mascara cuz u never know when ur best friend is gonna say something that will make u happy, sad, or just make u cry because it touches u so much........i know i always do..........and u should too!.........lol........i love u so much.....nothings ever gonna change that..........."and because i knew u i have been changed for good".......xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

~well......kelly ur next.......u have helped me so much.....and i dont think i could get through this if u hadnt been there to help me, and be able to relate to me.......i know u understand how much this helps..........and i promise u i will do something about it soon.......i need my time though......and i promise u (just like i did casey and everyone else)......im not gonna do it again..........and im gonna get through this.......i realize i am causing too much pain to myself and those around me.....and it needs to stop........and yes i know ur always here for me!......thanks!......i love u......and im sorry for everything in the past.....i realize how much i need a friend like u in my life........xoxoxoxo

~well i think that is about it........i apologize again......if u read that im sorry.........but i needed to say all of that to those people.....they need to hear it.......so i hope u all read this!..........well i should prolly go do my homework........goodbye




*~Ashley~*

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Life is a stage, your friends are the actors, and you are the star! [22 Sep 2004|06:09pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

~wow........thats about all i have to say..........cuz really there is nothing else to say........except maybe that i hate my life..........(yeah that works.....)





*~Ashley~*




Why do we stay with lovers who we know down deep just aren't right?
Why would we rather put ourselves through hell than sleep alone at night?
Why do we follow leaders who never lead?
Why does it take catastophe to start a revolution if were so free?
Someone tell me why so many people bleed.

Fear or love, baby?
Don't say the answer.
Actions speak louder than words.

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no one ever got hurt by what they don't know.... [21 Sep 2004|03:33pm]
[ mood | rejected ]

~there is so much going on in my life right now.....that i have no idea where to begin......

~well......well im sorry to say that my plans for even going to homecoming at all are basically shot.......i dont have a date......(and like i said before.....my parents rule is that i go with a date.......and i was trying to get that date to be a friend.....so that i could go and enjoy myself despite other things going on then...)......i asked someone to go ask friends.....but he said he planned on asking someone else but if she didnt wanna go with him, he would go with me........and considering he never got back to me, i would assume that he is going with her........but whatever.......i guess i just wont go.........

~well......school is going alright i guess........musical production is well....alright too i guess.........i dont know how much fun were gonna have.......(well at least the unimportant ones...).........and show choir is fun too.........the rest of my classes are alright so far.......not a lot of work so far........but im sure its coming......

~well......nothing really else to say......so im actually gonna go now cuz i am going shopping for laker day!.......ill write back later.......




*~Ashley~*




It's cool to be cold.
Nothing lasts anymore.
Love becomes disposable.
This is the shape of things
We cannot ignore.

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we'll have tomorrow..... [19 Sep 2004|10:45pm]
[ mood | happy ]

~well i have to say this weekend was the best i have had in a really long time..........i dont remember the last time i had this much fun.....and was seriously able to enjoy myself......it felt so good.........finally.....

~so friday was a half day of school.......ellen took me home and i just layed around the house for a while.......and then had to get ready for work......i worked all night but thats ok cuz i need the money........then saturday morning i got up early went to work until 3:30 and then came home.......i went to the store with my mom.....then they all left to go to my cousin's birthday party........ellen picked me up and we went to joe's party........i went there planning on having an ok time and being with the people i love being around the most...........well i get there and kelly comes up to me......and asked if i wanted to talk......i said yes......and we talked for a long time.....but then anyways.........later on mario (mr. will) asked lauren, me, maria, and meg if we wanted to stay the night since some of the guys were too......and of course we wanted to!!!......so we called and told our parents we were gonna stay the night there......and we had so much fun......the guys played capture the flag.....and we wanted to sabotage their game......(but we didnt)......then we all finally got to bed around 2:30......mrs. will and the girls slept in their motor home.....it was fun.......then we all got up this morning at like 9 ish and ate then hung out for a little while......then joe took me and lauren home to lauren's.........then i came home and did homework......and that is my weekend........

~im going to bed now though.....im tired.......bye!!




*~Ashley~*

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i guess if someone doesnt love u back it isnt such a crime...... [17 Sep 2004|01:09pm]
[ mood | confused ]

.....but there's a fine, fine line between love and a waste of time.



~thats exactly how i feel right now.......and it sucks.....cuz i know what i want......(with some things)......and how i cant have it.......and how with others things i have no idea what i want......and i cant help myself, cuz i dont know what will help..........although i do have to say that good friends help......and i have got a couple of those who are willing to help me no matter what.......and i love u all for it!

~well.......a very uneventful half day of school today.....i just wish i had something to do now......i am so bored.......but i have to go the the pet hospital to talk to the guy im doing my internship with and then i work at 4:30.......so.....yeah.........

~im really really bored right now.....so im gonna put in here some of my favorite show quotes........theres a bunch and most of them describe me perfectly.....so here goes.....(oh yeah....and there are a lot so if u get bored again.....lol.......SORRY!!!!):

"I'd meet a man and I'd follow him blindly.
He'd snap his fingers. Me, I'd say 'Sure'."


"And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free!"


"I will not be the girl who gets asked how it feels
To be trotting along at the genius' heels.
I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by."


"Don't wish. Don't start.
Wishing only wounds the heart.
I wasn't born for the rose and pearl.
There's a girl I know. He loves her so,
I'm not that girl."


"You're afraid to love me,
But just don't deceive me.
And please believe me when I say I love you."


"Oh Lord how could you let me love like this?
No one dies upon a kiss, and only fools believe in bliss."


"None of us can choose where, when, or who we will love..."


"Say there's no future for us as a pair, and though I may know, I don't care!"


"One question haunts and hurts.
Too much, too much to mention.
Was I really seeking good?
Or just seeking attention?
Is that all good deeds are
When looked at with an ice-cold eye?
If that's all good deeds are.
Maybe that's the reason why.

No good deed goes unpunished.
All helpful urges should be circumvented.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Sure, I meant well -
Well, look at what well-meant did."


"And if it turns out
It's over too fast
I'll make every last moment last
As long as you're mine

Maybe I'm brainless
Maybe I'm wise
But you've got me seeing
Though different eyes
Somehow I've fallen
Under your spell
And somehow I'm feeling
It's up that I fell"


"I don't know. I don't know. I have so, so many strong reservations."


"We touch. The dark begins to stir.
We can't go back to where we were.
Don't be afraid to make it real.
Don't be afraid to feel tonight.

Don't turn away - It's only love.
Only a touch that frees you.
Let it release you.
Take the chance - It's only love.
Open your heart and show me.
Don't be afraid - It's only love."


"No stay. I dont care what you've said or done.
Don't go away. Not now when life has just begun.
Come back and be the one who I knew.
Help me to believe in you.
What on earth am I to do?
He's gone. This vision that was not quite real.
I must move on. Despite this pain the pain will heal.
Oh Lord how could you let me love like this?
No one dies upon a kiss. And only fools believe in bliss."


"Others may leave but you will still be there.
Touching the tears that fill my eyes.
When I am lost, you are my light.
You are the love that never dies."


"How could I ever forget you,
Once you had touched my soul?
In a very unusual you've made me whole."


"If I'm wise,
I will walk away,
And gladly...
But, sadly,
I'm not wise,"


"One of us is crying.
One of us is lying in her lonely bed
Staring at the ceiling wishing she were somewhere else instead.
One of us is lonely.
One of us is only waiting for a call.
Sorry for herself.
Feeling stupid, feeling small.
Wishing she had never loved at all."


~ok.....well once again if u get bored.....i apologize.....but i was extremely bored......and i dunno.......i dont know what to do about a lot of things......i need to do some thinking about a lot of things......i think that if i think things out, i will be able to help myself more......and ill stop doing such stupid things..........im gonna go do some thinking now......




*~Ashley~*






-There's a fine, fine line between love and a waste of your time.-

3 comments|post comment

each day gets worse....... [15 Sep 2004|07:07pm]
[ mood | sad ]

~well.....i said i would write back.......BUT be forwarned that u may get bored by this entry.......if u do.....i apologize!!!!! but ok so monday was quite possibly THE WORST day in my life.......seriously there was no way that it could have gotten worse......and people r like....."oh it couldnt have been that bad....nobody has days like that".....well, then i would start to tell them about it and get half way through and they would give me this look like "OK......i believe u......God is punishing u for something".............


~so the events of monday.........started out that sunday night....i was up late doing homework (cuz i procrastinated).....i didnt get ready for bed until like almost 12:45......BUT THEN I COULDNT SLEEP......like i tried to fall asleep but i couldnt......so every so often i would look at the clock......i think i remember the last time i looked at the clock to be about 4:27........(keep in mind that i had my alarm set for 5:55........).......so my alarm goes off and off course......i shut it off thinking i would just sit there for a minute or two and then roll out of bed and get in the shower.......well I DIDNT!!!.........the next time i looked at the clock was when my mom came in the room and asked if i was gonna get up.....and that was at 6:25.......(also keep in mind......we leave my house at 7:20 and it takes me at least an hour to get ready....sometimes more....) but whatever.....so i rushed in the shower and getting ready......then we leave the house and i had the worst headache ever.........and i had to be there early for an officer's meeting........well i wasnt there in time.....w/e.......and then that day was just hell and went so slow.........i still had my headache........show choir was horrible just because i had to sit there with them........and i almost wanted to cry.......in fact i almost did a couple of times......but thats beside the point......and then i was so pumped for lunch cuz i was so hungry.....then at lunch i like didnt have an appetite....so i didnt eat much..........then the rest of the day was uneventful........just sucky....like i tripped up the steps.....and i forgot books.....and had my first anatomy and physiology class.........(i swear God is punishing me for something......but im not quite sure what yet.........when i figure it out i will let u know........).....then afterschool was our first ITS meeting......and it went well.........and i had to be at work at 5......and my mom couldnt be to school to pick me up until 4:45..........the meeting was over by 3:30......and well at about 5 my mom isnt there yet so i called her and she said she would be there shortly.....but to keep the story short....i was a half an hour late for work......then i get there and they r pissed at me for being late (EVEN THOUGH I CALLED)......and then i had to do drive-thru and i hate that.....cuz i have to deal with assholes.....and they dont know how to be nice.....and i cut my finger on the register drawer......it hurt.....lol.......and then i came home at like 8:45 and did my homework.....which took forever......and then i ended up doing that until i was ready for bed.......and i just sat there crying myself to sleep cuz i kept thinking about a lot of things.....there have been so many things on my mind lately..........

~oh yeah......and homecoming is definitely out for me.......i wont be going.....cuz well my parents are so ridiculously strict about things and well.......they say i cant go without a date......so either i get a date....or i dont go.............(and i am most likely guessing that i wont have a date.......so everybody have fun!!!)

~well.....im off to read my book for ethics......and maybe that will help me cool down a little.......who knows......sorry that this was such a boring entry........but it happens sometimes.....right?!?!?.....right.......well i might write back later






*~Ashley~*

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ahhhh..... [15 Sep 2004|05:45pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

~AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not a good day at all...........im actually not having a good week at all........why me?!?!?!??!?!?........i really really still hate hypocrits.......i cant write about my day now.....but i will when i write back later.....




*~Ashley~*

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hypocrits [15 Sep 2004|03:46am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

~I HATE HYPOCRITS................its so annoying how someone can yell at u and hurt u.......but then when ur upset......they just think ur worthless and they yell at u even more.............BUT THEN!!! u realize that they r talking about the same things......but yet dont say anything to u about them.......like they feel its ok for them to say all that.........but not me.......god its so freaking irritating.........i dont even know what to do anymore.....cuz if i tell them its wrong, then they will hate me and be all gay about it.......and i would hate to lose a friend over my problems............

~whatever.........im going to bed........HAPPY BIRTHDAY CASEY!!!!




*~Ashley~*

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nothing..... [12 Sep 2004|10:54pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

~nothing really eventful today......mom and i went shopping again.......last night i got "fame" "children of eden" and "little shop of horrors" (new broadway cast).......and also some of casey's gift.......then today i got a shirt for pictures.......and also little shop video.....$3......it was nice......but other than that nothing eventful......it was a pretty boring day.........but oh well.....not every day can be interesting!!

~well i just finished my homework and i am really really tired.....so i think i am gonna go to bed now.....i will talk to u all later.......




*~Ashley~*









We always seem to be
Sister and brotherly.
It's such a lovely way to be.

And I want to say
What it means to me.
How I could ever be the same without you?

And something more that I know.
Though I never could show.
How it kept right on growing.

The way I know I really feel about you.
The way I know I'll always feel about you.
Why can't we, why can't we try...

To play a love scene?
We don't need the violins to play a love scene.
Where we see how love begins.

If we could find a way to start.
And learn to play the part.
A perfect scene from a play unknown.
Let's play a love scene, of our own.

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OMG....... [11 Sep 2004|05:45pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

~so if anyone cares how my night was.....they can basically just read meg's entry from last night ( blackrosesatin )............oh yeah and like meg said "HUGE DISCLAIMER" on that entry........if ur gonna get pissed.....dont read it.............and if u do read it and get mad........then dont even dare get mad at me......im just writing about my shitty night......(well actually meg wrote it for me......).........i wish i could have left earlier but i didnt have a ride home until vaughn was ready to leave.....(although i think he would have been willing to leave whenever......)........i mean i guess i dont understand how people can be so god damn immature.......it really upsets me......and then to have others completely ignore me the whole time........(wow....great friends ive got......i wish i had more just like them).........at least mia, meg, vaughn, and i had fun playing (watching) basketball and whatever outside........it was nice to escape the immaturity for a little while..........i dont know......maybe i should have thought twice about what stephen had said about the party (BEFORE it.......)..........oh well.........well....im done for now.......i think mike and steph and i are gonna go to the mall.........who knows........i will update later when i am in a better mood.............bye



*~Ashley~*

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why can't i.....?!?!? [09 Sep 2004|11:48pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

~wow.....im surprised that i havent updated in a while.....prolly cuz i just simply havent felt like writing........sometimes i feel better when i keep everything locked up inside of me......that way nobody knows about it and they dont have to criticize me for everything.....i hate that.......people think they know me or think that they can help......when honestly - U HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS SITUATION IS LIKE!!!!!!!......cuz i am pretty sure none of my friends have been in a situation like this where their heart and the choices they are making are tearing them in different directions........(as are the people involved in the situation......)......and it sucks to be giving urself up to such pain......like honestly i look at myself and it seems like i always just open myself up and let people hurt me......and they take advantage of that.........granted not everyone has done so.........i love the fact that *u* wanted me to use u and take advantage of u, so that for once i wouldnt feel used..........u dont know how much that meant to me, even though that may sound dumb........but i really believed u and that u wanted to help me..............it would be nice to have "that".......(but that is if we ever went through with it)........but i dont know what i need right now.......although i know u can help me...........(u know who u are....).......anyways............and some people should just butt out cuz (not to be mean) but its really not their business at all............and frankly i am not allowed to tell anyone about what is going on in my life.......and i really dont want to either.......its much to personal to just be throwing around like that............and it could potentially end up hurting me even more than it already has..............but whatever.......

~sorry.....this was a huge venting entry......but i need to go and try to get some sleep.......i have to go to school early cuz i forgot a book to do homework...........talk to u later





*~Ashley~*

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why always me?!?!.........WHY?!?!? [06 Sep 2004|01:28am]
[ mood | depressed ]

~well......i have been doing a lot of thinking lately......and i am thinking thats a bad thing......but whatever........i have thought of every stupid thing or mistake i have made in the past couple of weeks.....and it seems like there are a lot of them........i dont understand how i can manage to screw up so many things........its confusing.......even to me....oh well......

~well.....i have been listening to "The Last 5 Years" a lot lately.....and i am gonna put one of the songs in here.....its the finale and i really really like it.......if u dont know the story....i would tell u but i dont feel like typing all that so u all can look it up for urselfs.....its good though!! so here it is: "Goodbye Until Tomorrow/I Could Never Rescue You"

Catherine:
Don't kiss me goodbye again.
Leave this night clean and quiet.
You want the last word,
You want me to laugh,
But leave it for now.

All you can say,
All you can feel
Was wrapped up inside that one perfect kiss.
Leave it at that:
I'll watch you turn the corner and go....

And goodbye until tomorrow.
Goodbye until the next time you call,
And I will be waiting.
I will be waiting.
Goodbye until tomorrow.
Goodbye 'til I recall how to breathe,
And I have been waiting,
I have been waiting for you.

I stand on a precipice.
I struggle to keep my balance.
I open myself one stitch at a time.

Finally yes!
Finally now!
Finally something takes me away.
Finally free!
Finally he can cut through these strings,
And open my wings!

So goodbye until tomorrow!
Goodbye until my feet touch the floor,
And I will be waiting!
Goodbye until tomorrow!
Goodbye until the rest of my life
And I have been waiting.
Waiting for you!


Jaime:
It's not about another compromise.
I'm not the only one who's hurting here.
I don't know what the hell is left to do.
You never saw how far the crack had opened.
You never knew I had run out of rope and

I could never rescue you.
All you ever wanted,
But I could never rescue you,
No matter how hard I tried.
AllI could do was love you hard and let you go.

No matter how I tried,
All I could do was love you.
God, I loved you so.
So we could fight, or we could wait,
Or I could go...


Catherine:
Goodbye until tomorrow!
Goodbye until I crawl to your door,
And I will be waiting,
I will be waiting!

Goodbye until I'm done thanking God,
For I have been waiting!
I have been waiting for you.

I will keep waiting -
I will be waiting for you!

Just close the gate;
I'll stand and wait.

Goodbye.....





~well....off to bed....i dont feel happy......goodnight......love u all!





*~Ashley~*

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damn dance...... [02 Sep 2004|11:58pm]
[ mood | irate ]

~WELL I HAVE TO SAY THAT THAT WAS WAY TOO MUCH DRAMA FOR ME.......AND I REALLY REALLY DIDNT LIKE IT AT ALL...........(THIS IS GOING TO BE IN ALL CAPS SO THAT U CAN TRY TO GET AN IDEA OF HOW UNBELIEVABLY MAD I AM RIGHT NOW........) AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~I HONESTLY DONT UNDERSTAND IT AT ALL.......IT MAKES ME SO MAD SOMETIMES.....OH WAIT ALL THE TIME...................AND I KNOW I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS THIS WAY..........LAUREN NO MATTER WHAT, EVEN IF IT UPSETS ME, I AM STILL GONNA LOVE U..............PAT IM SORRY FOR DRAGGING U INTO THIS.......AND SO IS LAUREN.............I REALLY DIDNT WANT TO GET U INVOLVED IN THIS ALL.........I HATE WHEN PEOPLE GET ME INVOLVED IN THEIR PROBLEMS...........SORRY

~IM SO MAD RIGHT NOW........I THINK I AM GONNA GO TO BED........GOODNIGHT!




*~Ashley~*

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